Take a social media influencer with a million followers. She boasts about her achievements in front of her mother. Mom listens, sometimes patiently, sometimes with irritation, and then says: “This is all good. Now take out the trash. ”
Another successful lady, CFO of a large company, a mother of 2 pre-schoolers with a small business on the side. A phone call from her own mother: “My windows have not been washed for a week now. You have to come and do it! No, I absolutely can not afford to call the cleaning service! What will the neighbors say – some strange woman is washing my windows? I have a daughter!”
And daughters come, again and again, to take out the trash and wash the windows.
The child says: “Look! I did it!” The parent says: “Now you have to clean up after yourself.”
Each one of us carries such a parent inside. Sometimes it’s a mother. Sometimes a father or a grandmother. Our achievements lead us to disappointment, and we try not to show yet one more time what we have achieved. The devil is hiding among people in a simple and inconspicuous disguise. And also, among people, in a similar disguise, there is God. And he observes us.
The inner parent devalues our achievements, devastates us, and we do not go either to the devil or to God, but to terrifying non-existence. We lose balance, motivation and turn into monotonous, rigid, amorphous creatures.
We convince ourselves that it was our choice to live like that, although in fact our parents made the choice for us. And we are grateful to them, we consider the evil they have done as good, but the inner child in us still feels the power of this first effort that baby birds do to fly out of their nests.
After the first effort there is always a fall. The fall convinces us that our parents were right to not want to let us go. After all, our parents are also children at heart, and they need our care. Sometimes it seems like we are their parents.
So, after many unsuccessful attempts to get parental support, we lose the ability of internal development. But we still hope to find a person in our life who could become a loving mother for a while, and then let us go.
But we all know him/her! Each one of us has only one such person. Someone who will never betray and able to accept us for what we are. With whom we can be completely transparent. Each one of us knows him.
We explore the continents, start new businesses, create new technologies, get millions of followers in search of ourselves. But we are not able to find it, and all our achievements do not bring us satisfaction and happiness.
The toddler does his thing in a potty for the first time, and proudly shows us his achievement. Parents, who are children too, are repelled by it and say: “Yuk!”
Mature grown parents praise the child for any achievement. And thereby contribute to his/her harmonious development. The child accepts this love and he/she no longer needs to be rejected.
You as well do not need to be miserable and feel rejected. You can accept praise and start to consciously set goals and build healthy relationship with yourself instead of making infantile decisions.
And as a result, reject commanding and unconscious parents and attract grown people with conscious behavior to your life . You will definitely meet such people in our study group.